Sometimes you just need to play a game that makes absolutely no sense. Something with a completely nonsensical, ludicrous plot that has simple mechanics and colorful graphics.
That game is Muffin Knight.
Writing this, I'm still not really sure what Muffin Knight is about. I've gathered that you play as a little warrior and collect muffins whilst either defeating or avoiding enemy animals. Downing a bad guy gets you some experience, and as you level up, you're able to upgrade any of the various warriors you've unlocked.
The actual muffin collecting is where the game takes a turn for the strange. Whenever you pick up a muffin, you turn into a different character that you've unlocked. The characters are all fundamentally similar (they can all jump, they all have an attack), but from there, it's up to you to know each character's speciality to survive and keep collecting muffins.
Collecting muffins gets you two things: new levels and new characters. For example, in my first playthrough, I unlocked a unicorn that poops out explosive rainbow mines. Yes, you read that correctly. You also start off with the knight, mage, archer, and gnome at the beginning of the game.
It's hard to say what exactly is so hypnotic about Muffin Knight. Is it the random chance of getting a character you've upgraded fully so you know you'll pwn whatever is barreling down on you? Maybe the fact you can play as a unicorn that poops out explosive rainbow mines? Perhaps it's the fact that when you fail to stop an enemy and they jump into a pit of flame (what? why would they do that?), they return on fire and run at double speed?
Regardless, Muffin Knight is fun. The controls are tight, the graphics are appealing and colorful, and the game is just neurotic and random enough to keep you from getting bored. Nearly endless entertainment is only $2.99, and we've got download links after the break.
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