Planet Pron

This entire review is Not Safe For Work. Chances are, you'll click through anyway. I don't blame you. Just remember I told you so. 

Planet Pron

A while back, I went on a mission to try out a bunch of porn apps for Android. To make a long story short, I found most of them pretty juvenile, of poor quality, and at least one had a pay-per-text scam embedded in it. When the folks at Planet Pron contacted me to tell me that they had a solution -- a high-quality porn app with just a few permissions and quality content -- I had to take a look. Turns out they were right, and the Planet Pron app delivers all the porn a person could want, is pretty unobtrusive, and ran great at every device I threw it at. 

The app is simple to navigate and use. You can browse by category (unfortunately "midgets" is glaringly absent), or go straight to the latest pictures or video. The categories are user-editable, meaning you can remove any, but you can't add in any new ones. Chances are, if you're straight, or a girl who enjoys the company of other girls, you'll find what you want. Anyhoo, you can select the ones you prefer and tap the "All My Selections" entry and get a big mess of porn all in one section. I'm flexible -- I left them all checked except "Hairy." That one just scares me.

Planet Pron -- sans hairy

You can also password protect the app to keep the young'uns out, or if you need to you can download a stealth version with a nondescript icon named Profile Pro to help keep folks from seeing what gets your freak on. We would never judge, but we understand there's some folks you need to hide an app like this from. Like wives. Or girlfriends. Or mom.  Especially mom. Once you have the categories all figured out, and have decided whether or not to keep your porn habits hidden from friends and family, you tap one of the categories to see what's inside. Interesting option -- you can mute the application independently from other settings on the phone. Mom doesn't need to hear the moans. Here's a few Red Heads as an example. I love my job. 

Planet Pron

You can also just tap the Pictures or Movies shortcut to slide right into the action, where you'll find media sorted by rating, popularity, and newness. You also have a favorites screen, where any media you've starred in the app is available quickly. Time is of the essence if your roomie only went downstairs to buy a soda. There's a few settings, and some account options. Yes, account -- there's different levels of membership, which you need to read about direct from the folks at Planet Pron (look in the settings for full details), but even the free level shows all the pictures and video. It's mostly value-added stuff like higher resolution (awwww, yeah!) and no ads, so you can still spank that monkey without spending a dime. 

Now we get to the meat of the issue. (So to speak.) How does the porn look? A great app designed to show porn has to show good porn, right? Planet Pron delivers here as well. They were kind enough to provide a premium account for review purposes (I love my job) and the pictures and video looks quite nice. The interface is simple, just swipe to navigate through the images and double-tap to view full-size. Videos open in an embedded player which also goes full screen on a double tap, and the stream was lag-free and clear, with decent sound. It's hard to show in a picture, but since there are sexy people who are naked I'll show them anyway. 

​I'm not about to pretend that porn doesn't exist. There's a great big Internet out there, and it's full of a little bit of everything I can't link you to. I am a firm believer in the old adage "if you're going to do something, do it right", and that includes porn on your Android phone. Planet Pron is the app to use if you'd rather stay off PornHub. It's a shame there's no categories for sexy boys who like to watch sexy boys, or people who fall into the transgender area (I hate labels), but I imagine if interest is shown those are possible. The quality is there, both in the app (which follows the Holo theme and design guidelines -- bravo!) and the content, so it's worth a look if you like to see naked sweaty people having fun.

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