It's no Flappy Bird ... or is it?

Here it comes, kids. Timberman. Downloaded at least a half-million times. (But no more than 1 million.) That will change soon enough, no doubt, as it's being heralded as the next Flappy Bird. It's mindless. It's easy to play. It's got 8-bit-style graphics and sound. And you're already starting to see it written about in that vicious circle of navel-gazing, feed-buzzing, clickbaiting cliche that we thought we narrowly escaped when that damned bird stopped trying to get through those damned pipes.

Get ready for the story of Timberman. How it went from a slow start to an overnight sensation, capturing the hearts and minds of the world and advancing mankind toward some sort of greater somethingorother. Mission to Mars? Save the whales? Nah. Let's play Timberman.

So say hello to Timberman. As the name implies, he chops down trees. He eats his lunch. He goes to the lavatory. (Wait. That's something else.) The idea is that he's chopping on one side of the tree. Or he's chopping on the other. Tap either side of the screen to move him over and avoid the branches that threaten to end your game. The faster you chop, the higher the level you'll reach. But you have to pay attention to those damned branches on that damned tree.

Timberman is free. It has a lot of ads. You can pay to remove the ads. You can play against your friends.

And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to forget about that damned bird. For a few more weeks.