Judging from our inbox this morning, more than a few of you have discovered the Dog Wars app. We'd been hoping it would slink back into the depths from which it slithered, but such is not to be the case.
Dog Wars, which some sort of horrific canine RPG, is doing its best to stoke the fires, announcing itself as "A GAME THAT WILL NEVER BE IN THE IPHONE APP STORE!!!" And you know what? Apple's App Store is better off for it. The developer, Kage Games, also wants you to know that "if you have a bug up your butt about the game concept, remember:"
- It is just A VIDEO GAME
- Perhaps one day we will make gerbil wars or beta fish wars for people who can't understand fantasy role play games
- Just because something is illegal in real life in certain countries, does not mean it is illegal to make a song, movie, or video game about it (looking at you XDA Developer Forums... deleting our beta testing thread and banning our account?!)
- Just go slingshot some virtual birds to kill some virtual pigs.
- Go complain to someone who cares about Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, Weed Farmer, Smoke a Bowl (these two are listed in the top 15 of casual games on Android Market) and maybe even Sierra's Leisure Suit Larry from 1987.
A few of the one-star comments left in the Market:
- "This represents the truly revolting world of dog fighting, dogs are still stolen daily for fights. Remove it now!" - Alex
- "Hope you people get prison time for making this app." - devon
- "This is pretty awful... Downloaded this just to say how very wrong this is, both in real life and in fantasy." - nonfinite
And a couple of e-mails we've received:
- "This is so sick I can't believe it! Have you people learned nothing from
Michael Vick???? Way to encourage this disgusting violence against innocent animals.....studies indicate that most serial killers who hurt animals move on to people. This is SICK. WTF android????!!!!!" - Diane
- "I cannot believe that you as a leader in this industry would promote dog
fighting with an app!! Dog wars should be removed from the android market! This is very disappointing for me and many others to see that Android would do this!" - Dawn
We're not sure if the 50,000-250,000 download mark is because people downloaded the free beta just to leave 1-star comments (let's hope so), or if it's really that popular (let's hope not). But we do know this: If we were Google, we'd probably find some sort of term of use that Kage Games has broken -- or invent a new one -- and fast, and get this sort of thing out of the Market.
Download links are not after the break. Here, however, is the the developer's e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org. Let 'em know how you feel. And tell 'em we sent ya.