OCNN

In one of the grandest smartphone news events that nobody saw, Motorola today launched OCNN -- the Ocho Cinco News Network -- all Chad Johnson (we don't care what he changed his name to) all the time. So when the million-follower Twitterer (hey, that's what they said, never mind it's only 826,000) is tweeting platitudes, what he had for breakfast, or how he's planning on actually contributing to the Bengals this season, know that he's doing it with the Motorola Devour, Motoblur and, under the hood, Android.

And so, we were one of the 113 people watching the live "news" conference. And we're now contributing to the delusion of a so-so football player efforts of a start athlete to spread the value of social networking -- and, by proxy, Android -- and ... and ...

We're sorry, folks. Really, we are. (Erm, and if you're an 85 fan, go ahead and check it out, we suppose.)