I'll never buy the S20 Ultra, but I just can't stop thinking about it

Galaxy S20 Ultra Grey
Galaxy S20 Ultra Grey (Image credit: Android Central)

Like everyone expected, Samsung showed off a set of new phones that are downright amazing and somehow even better than the downright amazing models it showed us last time. I've not touched any of them, but I'm confident that any of the Galaxy S20 models would be an awesome phone that would make any smartphone lover pretty happy.

That Galaxy S20 Ultra though. It's beautiful.

But one stands head and shoulders above the rest: the Galaxy S20 Ultra. It's one big bold phone with all the bells and whistles you expect from a Galaxy phone plus a few more, like a 100X Space Zoom camera and a model with 16 GB of RAM. It's even a 5G phone that appears to be able (based on the network specs of the T-Mobile model) to work everywhere so you can run around and look for places with a 5G connection as a hobby, if that's your thing.

But it's also $1,400 dollars, so I know I'll never be buying one. There is no way I can justify spending that much on a phone.

I know plenty of you folks reading this can justify it and will be buying this phone. And that's awesome — every one of us is a unique individual with unique wants and needs when it comes to something as personal as the phone we carry and use. Just because I can't bring myself to part with that much cash for a phone doesn't mean I'm judging you. I'm actually envying you. So much.

With that out of the way, I'm still wondering why I can't stop thinking about buying one. I have the pre-order page open in a browser tab as I write this, and I've looked at it several times this morning. I've even done the unthinkable (for me, at least) and checked what it would cost me to buy one on payments through T-Mobile. That was a mistake by the way because I see $0 down and $58 per month and think how I could stop buying other things like exotic houseplants or Zephyrhills Spring Water and wouldn't really come out losing anything.

No money down and no expensive spring water would get me an S20 Ultra, and that's too much temptation for this simple man.

As I'm writing this, I have a nagging fear that I'll have an extra drink or smoke a bit too much over the weekend and just do it. My wife is no help, because she said I'm silly for sticking to some outdated idea that $1,000+ is too much to spend on a phone after I just spent a bunch of money on another aquarium. And I know she is right, but I am a complicated man with complicated thoughts and dammit, I really wanted that aquarium and already have too many phones but I can never have too many aquariums.

To rationalize it, I keep telling myself that I can wait a few months and the price will go down and I can Space Zoom the heck out of everything for a lot less money. I mean, look how every other phone goes down in price after a few months. The S20 Ultra will do the same, right? Then I can decide if I want it bad enough to spend what will still be a lot of money and do this all over again.

These Galaxy S20 Ultra Space Zoom camera samples are amazing and a bit creepy

I've also tried to hatch a scheme where I attempt to convince all the bosses that Android Central should buy me one. That quickly falls apart when my only reason to have it is that it's freaking cool and SPACE ZOOM Y'ALL! and in my mind, I can see the folks with the corporate checkbook hanging up on me then making sure to never answer my calls close to a new phone launch. Hopefully, I have the restraint to not do it regardless of how many weekend drinks or tokes may pass my lips. No guarantees there, though.

My prreeecccciiiooouuuusssssss

Source: Giphy (Image credit: Source: Giphy)

Anyhoo, I know I can't be the only person lusting after the S20 Ultra but won't buy it for one reason or another. I'll live vicariously without my Space Zoom friend through coworkers and online acquaintances. At least until something newer comes out and I try to convince someone I work with that I should have their old unwanted S20 Ultra. I have a few people in mind but I'm not naming names just yet.

So tell me: am I crazy? Does this phone have some sort of superpowers that have found a way around my defenses? More importantly, did you preorder one, and if you did can you take 100X zoom shots of all sorts of random things like orchids or the pandas at the zoo so I can look at them? Someone please say yes so I don't have to start putting stuff on Craigslist or go into debt with T-Mobile.

Jerry Hildenbrand
Senior Editor — Google Ecosystem

Jerry is an amateur woodworker and struggling shade tree mechanic. There's nothing he can't take apart, but many things he can't reassemble. You'll find him writing and speaking his loud opinion on Android Central and occasionally on Twitter.