Princesses need pockets: A plea for jeans that fit our lives and our waistlines

Isn't my holster awesome? I look like a secret agent wannabe, but I like to think I rock it pretty well. It's not my first shoulder holster and I don't think it'll be my last, but do you want to know a little secret? I'm not rocking the Lara Croft look because I want to: I rock it because I need my damn phone and none of my jeans will let me sit down with it my front pockets!!

I've bounced around brands a bit in the last decade — worn some Levis, worn some Angels, worn the ever-loving hell out of some Underground Soul flares — but I haven't owned a pair of good-fitting pants that my phone properly fit in the front pocket of since college. Maybe I can fit it in the front pocket while I'm standing up, but if I want to sit down anywhere, it has to come out, which is just a recipe for disaster.

For a while, I just made do with my overstuffed pockets and having to hold my phone when I sit down, but then in March of 2016, I met Michael Fisher — Captain Two Phones himself — at a company conference and I fell in love... with his holster.

The LD West holster fit under jackets, it fit around gear bag straps and didn't need taking off for anything. The elastic meant that the holster bounced when I ran in it — a rare but sometimes necessary act in a live local news station — and both sides were magnetic clasp holsters so it could only hold two phones or a phone and a wallet, but it was a great holster for me to start with.

Most people gave it a double take, realized it wasn't a gun, and moved on.

I received a review unit shoin mid-2016, and while my mother hated it, most people gave it a double take, realized I wasn't packing a gun, and moved on. It was great at the bar — I don't know about you, ladies, but I hate trying to keep up with a purse during karaoke night at the bar — and it was even better at the theme parks, as I didn't have to take it off for any rides.

When the Phonster X came along at the beginning of 2017, I jumped on the Kickstarter, seeking something more. When the holster finally showed up six months later, it was like a dream. The straps were strong and non-elastic — meaning they sat better on my petite female frame — and the second multi-pouch was big enough to fit my wallet, car keys, house keys, hand sanitizer, and even a tiny bit of candy when needed, meaning that I could still have everything I needed even while wearing yoga pants or a skirt.

I still need to try the newly released Phonster Z — especially since I'm not sure how I feel about both sides using zippers instead of the magnetic clasp phone pouch — but even more, I wish I didn't have to strap up every time I leave the house.

The women I see for the most part have adapted one of four scenarios when faced with a lack of suitably pocketed attire:

  • Their phones live in their purses.
  • Their phones sit in their pocket when standing and get set down when they need to sit down.
  • They buy ill-fitting clothing with deep pockets.
  • Their phones live in a dedicated accessory such as a wristlet or fanny pack.

Granted, part of the problem is that phones are so much bigger than they were 5 years ago, but the men in my life never seem to have issues keeping a phone in their pockets. While men's pants are about function as much as fashion, women's clothiers still don't see a problem in shrunken or missing pockets.

Maybe they think it's a good excuse to sell us another purse.

Ladies, have you found that mythical denim brand that fit your body type and your phone type? Do you have a pantheon of purses to hide your phone in? Have any ideas of what might work better? I want to hear them! Hit me in the comments, hit me on Twitter, stop me when you see me at Walt Disney World and give me hope of a better world where pockets reign supreme.

Because even the Disney princesses — and the magnificent female managers I see at the parks every day — agree:

Princesses need pockets!!

Phonster Z

Phonster Z (Image credit: AGE)

Phonster Z ($114 at AGE)

This is the next generation of my beloved Phonster X, with the Z standing for Zippers, as all pouches now use zipper enclosures. Looking to try a holster? Start with this one.

Waterfly Water Resistant Fanny Pack (opens in new tab) ($15 at Amazon)

Fanny packs aren't even 30% as cool as my holster, but they're easy to find in neat styles and can fit more in them. This sleek model is splash-resistant and available in ten colors.

Danny K Women's Tapestry Crossbody (opens in new tab) ($20 at Amazon)

Just need a purse to carry your phone, wallet, and maybe some candy and hand sanitizer? This tiny purse is perfectly sized and has tons of cool designs to choose from.

Ara Wagoner

Ara Wagoner was a staff writer at Android Central. She themes phones and pokes YouTube Music with a stick. When she's not writing about cases, Chromebooks, or customization, she's wandering around Walt Disney World. If you see her without headphones, RUN. You can follow her on Twitter at @arawagco.

  • LOL. That's all I have to say.
  • I never understood why anyone would put their phone in their back pocket. Yea yea I get that I can grab it out when you sit, BUT I don't give sitting much thought and I'm certain I would often forget to grab it out! Your blog made me realize why some ladies might do it, BUT I still don't get why any guy would! Our front pockets are HUGE! lol (comparatively speaking)
  • Yeah, it is ridiculous. Whenever I see the majority of women walking around with their phone in their (back pocket even) pockets, the thing is almost more than half hanging out already meant to fall on the floor at a moments notice and looks like a miserable experience. Even as a man, I would get sick of carrying around a wallet in the left pocket, putting the phone crammed in with other stuff or the back pocket and doing the same thing until I could make the wallet and phone the same item. You don't have that option either, and I can understand not wanting to carry around an extra accessory just to accommodate the problem. The jeans need some updating with the past decade for mobile phones to be considered.
  • Well, see...the problem isn't so much with pocket size. If your front pockets were big enough, the problem of tightness still exists. Most women I see tend to wear tighter pants. The tighter the fit, the less room for a phone. I don't see women going to looser fitting pants to accommodate phones. Those pockets could extend all the way down to your knees and you'd still have issues since they are too tight to fit that hard rectangle of glass and metal.
  • Princesses don't need pickets! They have a horde of lickspittles following behind them to carry their stuff. That said I am firmly behind ladies beans having pockets. It makes absolutely no sense to make a pair of jeans with 1 inch deep pockets! You'd think one or two manufacturers would buck the trend and make a killing. That said if phones keep going the way they are no one's pockets will hold them. I'm a 6'1" man and I'd put money down that a OnePlus 7 prep would peek out of my front pocket.
  • I would say, not the pockets are to small, just the phones are to big. In my opinion, a 5" device without borders would be the perfect size to fit my pocket, but also be easy to use with one hand.
  • I miss the days of my 2013 Moto X. Perfect sized phone.
    And with saying that I am looking forward to that Zenphone 6 with that huge battery! Probably will weigh a ton but I will deal with it for outlet independence.
  • Also, in the last decade, the pockets in ladies pants have shrunk almost as much as phones have grown. Never could sit comfortably with the phone in my pocket, but ten years ago I didn't have to worry about the phone coming out of them. Amazingly, my 10 year old jeans will hold my new phone, even in its case. So long as I am standing.
  • Yeah, but we all have to sit down sometime, right?
  • Some redesign are needed, or just don’t forget your bags :)
  • I've seen plenty of woman with yoga pants that have virtually hidden pockets on the hip just for phones. Seems like someone could do this with jeans.
  • I was wearing jeans with cargo pockets for a while; the cargo pocket is pretty good for a phone. But then I decided that skirts are much more comfortable than jeans. So I researched skirts with well-designed pockets, and concluded that kilts are the answer. There are places that make custom fit kilts, but I just buy the utilikilt Survival. If the price makes your hair stand on end, they come up cheaper pretty often on ebay, because guys buy them or get them as a gift and decide they aren't comfortable wearing them.
  • Another problem of form over function. If they just made the pockets deeper or moved them down so your body didn't have to bend the top corner of the phone, it would solve the issue. Well, for pants at least. It seems that guy clothes are designed to carry stuff. My phone is about 5 inches from my knee! Meanwhile, my friend has her phone sticking out of her back pocket because it won't go all the way in the back pocket of her jeans. Forget it when she wears leggings or a dress! We were at the beach last year and went to the store, and even my swim trunks had generous pockets. Her? She was wearing a bikini with a scarf or something to look like a skirt, and she had to carry her phone the whole time, but she's used to it because there's usually no place for it anyways. Even at her high school graduation, my favorite pic of her shows her balancing the phone on the other stuff she's carrying.
  • true, that. though I still think pockets in clothes are really good for one thing and one thing only.
    Hands. Unfixable issues arise when attempting to use them for objects, and with cells it's worse than ever. I've read studies which caution about putting cells in groin area or on chest (as w/phone in bra); this can't be great for health reasons. And how many times do you forget to remove things and send your garment through the wash. Whoops! ;/
    I'll just stick to using my PortaPocket wearables. Been using 'em daily for almost 12 yrs now;
    zero problems.
  • Three comments: 1) Fifth scenario: phone carried in the bra. My wife does this, and I've seen other women do this.
    2) My wife buys the bigger phone (S8+) because she has a purse and a bra, and I buy the S8 because it fits better in my pocket.
    3) I *can* keep my phone in my front pocket when I sit, but I often take it out. It's on the table (during meetings) or it's on the seat between my legs when I'm driving if it's not in a cup holder. It all depends on the pants I'm wearing. My 3 cents.
  • I'd suggest one be careful with using a bra as a carrying cases as sweat can kill a cell, and emissions from a phone aren't so good near one's heart & chest. Maybe your wife would like a wearable alternative? here's one way:
  • I do not wear a bra, so that's less of an option for me. (and as a 34A, that was never really an option anyway)
  • Here's an answer for much less cost than that cool holster you're rocking there, Ara. The Inherent problem with pockets in cothes are they're limited due to fixed size & location (if even there at all). Using clothes pockets for your stuff means you sit, sweat and bend on your things, and items fall out, bulge out and generally don't look look so good. Solution's not to rely on them, but rather put pockets on yourSELF (literally ;) sewing needed. PortaPocket is a patented problem-solver I use daily. It's a super comfy, modular and hands-free system that works almost anywhere on your body, and either under or over your outfit. Mint for cells, and a lot more. Wear it on your hip/waist for your phone, then swap out a pocket and use it under your dress or pantleg to carry your cash & cards while at karaoke. Vetted on roller coasters & even water parks as has an optional Loksak waterproof insert that works in the XL pocket to allow submersion up to 200' (same type+brand of inserts used by the FBI for anthrax, so not a sandwich bag! ;) I use 'em everyday. Done this for years; haven't relied on a purse since 2008. I hope this helps :)) Find 'em on amazon or via portapocket (dot) com
  • I'm not the first to say this, but the problem isn't the small pockets, it's the huge phones. You may be reluctant at first to admit it, but you don't really need nor want a phone so big. Try and don't lie: can you use your phone comfortably? Sure, it might have a beautiful bright colored display, amazing cameras, and lasts two days of heavy use, but if you only have one free hand, you find yourself straining your thumb to reach the opposite side of the screen, re-gripping the phone, or turning on the accessibility features. That's far from ideal. It's like getting a big car, then finding out the seat only adjusts so much and you can barely see over (or through) the steering wheel, or you can't reach the stick shift. Maybe you show off your ride in front of your friends and praise how smoothly it drives, but you secretly hate it because it's simply too big to handle comfortably.