Help! Choosing a console is just as hard as choosing a phone

I really like to play video games. I always have, and probably always will. I can't be a zombie hunter or a race car driver in real life, so I'm forced to hunt my zombies and drive my go-karts virtually and that's fine. It can be a lot of fun.

Like a lot of gamers, I have a way-too-expensive money pit called a gaming PC, but I also like to do some mobile gaming and have even shoehorned Steam on my Chromebook and play some games that aren't looking for a high-end GPU. But that's not enough and I need another console since my PS4 decided to go and die on me. Yes, I understand the definition of the word "need", so fight me all you want. I need another console.

But I can't choose what to buy. I know what phone I want and what Chromebook I want and even which brand of keyboard and mouse I want to use when I'm working at my desk. But for the life of me, I can't decide if I want to buy a new PlayStation, an Xbox, or a Switch. And no, I won't be buying all three because a) I don't have $1,200 to toss away in my mad money account and b) My wife says I spend too much time playing games and can't get all three. I've come to recognize over the years that even if I disagree, my wife is usually right. I'm not going to even try it.

It's really the exclusives that are twisting my arm. I want all of the games but have to decide on one.

Exclusive titles are only part of the dilemma. The whole exclusivity thing sucks and is only a thing because it's easier than trying to make a better product that the competition but it still is a thing. I really want to play the new Spider-Man, but I also want to play the new Mario Kart, and Sea of Thieves just got an awesome update, and Detroit: Become Human looks like a thing I can waste hours playing. But consoles are now more than just game machines where you insert a disk instead of a quarter.

Things like Microsoft Movies & TV and PlayStation Vue have become just as much a part of the consoles as the games. WMR and PlayStation VR will continue to be better and become a bigger reason to buy a certain game in the future (no, not another Skyrim. OK, maybe just one more Skyrim). And the Switch being a thing I can play in my hands washes the taste of the Wii and its horrible controllers out of my mouth in a way the Wii U never could. Each of these expensive toys has something going for it that's above and beyond those exclusive games that studios are paid to keep away from the others.

So what is a man to do? I went to Google and asked it which one to buy and found nothing more than millions of other people asking the same question and getting every answer imaginable and that's not a lot of help. I do have quite the library of PS4 games, but something tells me I'll never want to play Destiny or GTA V ever again, so that's a moot point. I need an intervention so I can close all these Amazon tabs and just buy something before I lose my mind.

I could just ask Russell or Daniel, and the answer from either would be the same: "Just buy all of them, because you know you will eventually." While that might be true, feeding my addiction isn't much help. Besides, I could never hide them from Mrs. Hildenbrand who only wants to play old-school Super Mario Kart on the SNES and whoop my ass in it. Loser does the dishes.

Which console should I buy? A PlayStation 4 Pro, an Xbox One X, or a Nintendo Switch? Why? Help me out, please!

Jerry Hildenbrand
Senior Editor — Google Ecosystem

Jerry is an amateur woodworker and struggling shade tree mechanic. There's nothing he can't take apart, but many things he can't reassemble. You'll find him writing and speaking his loud opinion on Android Central and occasionally on Twitter.