Ashley Madison for Android: A bad app for doing bad things

By Phil Nickinson
last updated

It's tough to listen to satellite radio these days without hearing an advertisement for Ashley Madison (opens in new tab), an online community that boasts having more than 12 million anonymous members looking for some degree of companionship. The difference between Ashley Madison and other dating sites is it openly caters to people looking to have discreet affairs.

I'm happily married, and having an affair with someone online isn't exactly on my agenda anytime soon, much to the relief of my wife and kids. But I also can't escape those damn commercials. And since Ashley Madison has an Android application, I figured it was in my professional duty to check it out. A few thoughts, after the break.

So a few thoughts on the Ashley Madison app, in no apparent order:

Damn, it must be lonely out there. I was never good at dating. Not sure things is going to make things easier on anyone.

Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison

Signing up was easy. Just give a little basic biographical info. Why, yes, I'm 6-foot-4, 250, and work out like there's no tomorrow. OK, I'm not. And, no, you don't get a picture. What kind of a boy do you think I am? Please respect my discretionary requirements. OR whatever.

Ashley Madison

Sure. I'd like to see women who live nearby. Wow. That's a lot for this town. Do I know any of them? Don't think so. That's a good sign. Let's see one up close.

Ashley Madison

Dunno about you, but I hope I look half that good when I'm 46. I'm sure the other specs are legit though. Who'd fudge those?

Ashley Madison

Ah. I can search for women age 66 and up. Good to know.

Ashley Madison

Ahhhhhh. So there's the rub, so to speak. Up until now, everything's been free. But you can buy "credits" so that you can actually contact people on the Ashley Madison service. Until now, it's been look, don't talk. $50 for 100 credits, or up to 1000 credits for $250.

But here's the real kicker: Say you want to delete your account: That'll be $19.99, please and thank you. That's right. Ashley Madison will "hide" your profile for free. But to actually delete the thing? That's going to cost you money. Ridiculous.

Anyhoo, there's a married guy's brief look at the Ashley Madison Android app. If it exists, we'll review it. That's our motto. At least in this case. Now to figure out how to file an expense report for that $19.99.

34 Comments
  • Lol, nice post. Thanks Phil.
  • Most of those profiles of hot women have to be fake. They're most likely 40 year old men.
  • POLL: What's worse, an app that might cause real dog-fighting or an app that definitely causes adultery?
  • is it possible to uprate a comment 1 million times? hate to say it jerry but you reviewing this with a working download link is very hypocritical compared to the dog wars app, which was purely theoretical in encouraging real dog fighting, showed no images of dog fighting, and was free. nothing that app featured would hurt anyone where everything in this app will hurt someone.
  • Right.
    Because what consenting adults do with each other in the privacy of their bedrooms (and smartphones) is TOTALLY the same as glorifying and glamorizing the torture and killing of animals with the same capacity for emotional duress as a three year old human, and who aren't able to defend themselves. That's a mighty high horse you're riding there...
  • isn't this app "glorifying and glamorizing" adultery between two married people who may have kids? isn't that a lot more traumatizing for the spouse or kids if/when this affair eventually gets found out? comparing something virtual that has no effect in the real world to something that has everything to do with interacting in real life and criticizing the virtual thing is very strange to me. perhaps you wish to voice your objections to grand theft auto. that is also a violent game against defenseless people in a virtual environment in the android market. i see your high horse and raise you a kettle.
  • You are absolutely right. Before this website existed there was no adultery in the world. There were rainbows and unicorns every where you looked.
    I'm in the belief that if you want to cheat, you will cheat. If you want to be faithful then you will be faithful. No website/app will change that. It seems to me that the people that tend to hate this website are the ones lacking confidence in their ability to stay faithful or the ability of their partner.
  • yes and all those that go guns blazin who were playing COD would anyways, all those who would carjacked and were playing GTA would have carjakced anyways, and all those who would have beat a dog would have anyways The idea that an app would be more likely to create a dog-beater that wouldn't have existed than a cheater than wouldn't have cheated is completely insane.
  • Are you sure you didn't break their terms and conditions by not blurring the photos in the profiles there? I'd be worried about a potential lawsuit. Even if it's not illegal, it's kinda a dick move. And even if you swapped out the photos, it would still be a dick move to add in random people's pictures into an app with this purpose. May I suggest you pull the article and repost with blurred photos?
  • moomba89 a disgruntled Ashley Madison user?
  • haha no I personally think that you're digging your own grave if you put your picture on a site specifically designed for extra-marital affairs. Just concerned
  • I don't see what you're 'concerned' about (yeah, right)all those people are fake anyways hahaha, if they didn't want their faces to be seen, they shouldn't be registered on a website that has their face... being... seen... lol
  • Since the photo that is actually viewable (hot girl aged 46) is not actually of the user does it really matter? All the others are too small to even tell. Hell, who even knows if the actual person's bio is of the actual person who's profile it belongs to. Mute point, move on dude.
  • Pleased to see you don't censor yourselves on what apps to review. Out of curiosity what satellite radio station(s) are you listening to that have ads? I've had Sirius for 3 years and I have never heard an ad.
  • Probably Howard Stern Radio.
  • Stern and Playboy Channel did. During a Chicago Cubs baseball game, I thought I heard that 3 fans died from actually finding something they had a chance seeing... A girl. The World-Series was actually more unobtainable!
  • Breaking terms and conditions... Who cares? If anything, it's good publicity to have their site thought of on AndroidCentral. I never heard about it until I read this article. "my professional duty". :-D Phil, your posts are awesome!
  • Yeah, but it'd be even better publicity to sue in order to make themselves appear to be responsible and concerned with their users' privacy. Not having a go at the article or anything: just saying that it could be really detrimental for Android Central and it would be pretty easy to fix and repost.
  • Precisely why I will not pay for satellite radio!
  • So my rss reader decided to cut off the article here: " I'm happily married, and having an affair with someone online..." Had to stop what i was doing and jump to the full article just to check that Phil hadn't lost his mind...
  • LOL - RSS readers will be the end of us someday.
  • That is insanely stupid, and expensive. I cannot believe they charge what they do for all that. These "dating" sites are getting out of control.
  • I could get myself into big trouble without stupidly spending $249 to hook up with somebody online who may or may not be what they purport to be. And if I were so inclined, you can sure betcha that it wouldn't be on my phone where the boss could find it. The 249 wouldn't even cover the medical bills to get the phone out of my..............
  • Those people need a Stern warning or sumptin'. Tss tss tst
  • Thank you for this! I imagine about 0.01% knows Chip but it made my day!
  • ROFL!!!!! Chip is everywhere!
  • Also heard on Opie & Anthony channel (XM 105) a fair bit.
  • A couple years ago Ashley Madison did a commercial during the super bowl. O&A talked about it because of that.. And satellite radio is full of commercials now.
  • How does an app on your phone that screams "IM CHEATING" constitute a discrete way to hook up behind your wife's back? And I know some would say that their wife never checks their phone or they have a pin... still hardly seems like a secret
  • so, you do a post that's like an advertisement for them? r they paying you for this?
  • um, Grindr is better, and Jackd! sorry, is only for us, Gays... and is totally free. though, theres a paid version which makes no sense to pay for ... lol and the new manhunt mobile site, so much better and faster than the app! str8 people could try blendr... made from the same people,but iOS only... but who cares about iOS... this app is just lame!
  • At least this app can't do anything to your phone that a factory reset won't cure, unlike an actual affair.. hehe.
  • Considering how often my wife uses my phone and apps to do something because she can't be bothered with finding her phone or downloading the app from the market, AND that she has satellite radio and hears all the ads, too...I can just imagine how painful it'd be to have my phone inserted in an orifice (your choice) when she finds that app right near the top alphabetically.
  • I think Ashley Madison in breach of UK data protection legislation in charging to delete data.