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Hey Android fans, iPhone users probably won't date you (according to this BS article)

iMessage open on an iPhone X
iMessage open on an iPhone X (Image credit: Daniel Bader / Android Central)

Have you heard the news? If you use an Android phone, iPhone users think you're icky and won't date you. At least, that's what this nonsense article in the New York Post wants you to believe. I'll save you a click because it's the same boring crap we've been reading for years wrapped in a different shell: People who use iMessage find green bubbles gross, and those green bubbles come from Android users. Add in a couple of quotes from the three whole people they "interviewed" on the topic, and BANG! Instant outrage porn for the internet to enjoy.

This is some obviously next level petty nonsense on my part, but let's unpack just how wrong the Post is with this garbage.

Vapid, shallow people exist on every platform

Let's set aside how extremely broken the concept of dating exclusively from your phone is for a moment, or that you can actually get iMessage on Android with a little bit of work.

In this extremely terrible article, a story gets told of a woman who meets someone on Tinder. They chat for a while, hit it off, and decide to exchange numbers. She gets the first text, hoping beyond hope that a blue bubble shows up only to be disappointed at the sight of green. She is now no longer interested in flirting with this subhuman and promptly moves on.

If that is literally the only reason they've decided not to pursue the conversation, it was never going to be worth your time to talk to that person. You dodged a bullet, trust.

At first, I thought this article was going to go the route of perceived wealth. We've been told for years that Android users are often looked down upon as cheap because there are so many inexpensive phones — the real reason Google maintains global dominance in market share. As though spending a certain amount on your phone is an indication of your status in society. The NYPost doesn't go down that particular road in this article, likely because it's so easy to refute now in a world where Samsung is pumping out phones even more expensive than the top-tier iPhones because of all the tech it's cramming into them.

We're meant to believe this is simply how lots of people behave because being a part of this exclusive club is more important to someone than their other attributes. This, dear reader, is bull. Anyone who looks at iMessage as a deciding factor after swiping right and chatting for a while and decides you're not worth talking to anymore isn't a good person. If that's the real reason they decide to drop you, you dodged a bullet.

In an attempt to back this claim up with some data, this little nugget is dropped on the Post audience:

While Android phones have a larger market share than iPhones, millennials feel a stronger emotional attachment to Apple products than any other brand, according to a 2018 analysis by marketing agency MBLM.

While it is absolutely true brand loyalty for Apple in the U.S. is fantastically high, and kudos to Apple for earning that trust with its audience, there are plenty of people in relationships right now where partners have different phone manufacturers. Because — and I get this may surprise some of us here in the land of nonstop smartphone news — most people's worlds do not revolve around their phones. It's an extremely valuable accessory, but life really does happen outside of your phone. All the time. Even right now, as you're reading this.

There are no benefits to iMessage dating, only added anxiety

It is without question that having a unified messaging platform for anyone you chat with is a Good Thing™. It's fun to be able to share silly features, like Stickers in Google Hangouts or reveal text in iMessage. That added bit of entertainment makes any conversation lighter and can add depth to an otherwise flat world, and I can absolutely see wanting to have that depth in what could possibly have a romantic conversation.

Ignore the NY Post: date people who make you happy, and for the love of all that is good in the world don't look for deeper meaning in their choice of phone

Unfortunately, those aren't the features being touted as valuable in this article. Instead, one of the people quoted in the article mention wanting to see "the three dots that show when iPhone owners are typing, the receipt confirming that a message has been delivered" as a big, must-have. To me, that's pants-on-head crazy and should not be a desired part of any form of communication (although RCS, which is broadly rolling out to Android users in the UK and France, does support typing indicators).

What is being described here is a desire to know right away that someone saw the message and the ability to know when they're trying to respond. The goal of these two features combined is to stare at your phone as it functionally does nothing because you know a message is about to arrive. The entire point of messages over text is being able to multitask and not be totally focused on a conversation, and yet we're meant to believe there's a large group of people out there who actively crave the ability to stare at their screen so a text-only conversation can be continued as fast as physically possible.

This shouldn't take away from the people who feel read receipts are important, even if I don't share that particular view. But combining these two features is a recipe for anxiety. Did they read my message? Oh, they did a few minutes ago but haven't responded yet. Wait they're responding now! Oh, but the dots stopped and a new message hasn't appeared. Are they struggling to express themselves? Are they hiding something from me? Why can't they just be honest with how they feel, why do they need to carefully word what they're trying to say to me?

It's already painfully easy to misread text or insert the incorrect emotion into a message with regular ol' texts, but to add in this layer of unspoken expectation and assume the person on the other side is playing by the same rules simply because they own an iPhone is actively damaging to any relationship regardless of what stage it is in.

The moral of the story this week? Ignore the New York Post, date people who make you happy, and for the love of all that is good in the world don't look for deeper meaning in their choice of phone. You're better than that.

Russell is a Contributing Editor at Android Central. He's a former server admin who has been using Android since the HTC G1, and quite literally wrote the book on Android tablets. You can usually find him chasing the next tech trend, much to the pain of his wallet. Find him on Facebook and Twitter

64 Comments
  • I never liked ny post this only proves my point.
  • I don't read it either or waste my time with it.
  • I would date you, Russell.
  • What phone do you use?
  • A Blackberry. Nobody will date me, ever.
  • Well I wouldn't date you but it's not because of the BlackBerry lol. I did like my BlackBerry 10 phone though Has to do with your chromosomes having a Y in there lol.
  • Just wait. Some day there'll be an article asserting that the dogs of iPhone owners prefer to crap on the lawns of Android phone owners. Particularly, Samsung and Huawei phones.
  • There are roughly 80-85% Android users worldwide. I pity those poor iPhone users having to spend their evenings on their own, watching professional ladies on their suboptimal screens...
  • But it's 40% in the US, which is likely more relevant to that NY Post article.
  • I think in general you can ignore the New York Post. It's never been considered real news.
  • iPhone users are arrogant and ignorant anyway. I'm a better person just because I love my Samsung. I can't even stand to have a conversation with them. Full disclosure: Both my wife and daughter are iPhone users.
  • Haha, I've don't date iPhones users. I'm pretty picky that way.
  • The New York Post is owned by the same people who own Fox News.
  • Well, I wouldn't want to date anybody based on their cellphone to begin with...😦😕😯😮😧🤔
  • I have always had premium companionship and I have never owned an Apple product nor have I ever had a Facebook account. I must be the exception that proves the rule.
  • Yep no Facebook don't use iPhone. No problem. Heck I just started using snap chat so my kids would answer me faster lol
  • I haven't read the article and really am not interested.... However.... Here is Aus, green bubble phobia def exists!! Granted we have a much higher proportion of iOS users than pretty much anywhere else in the world ( circa 60% I think ) ..as eg, in my immediate close friends circle, I am the single Android user out of 12 of us.. iPhones are most assuredly seen as status symbols - particularly gen Z and millennials. As such, I would genuinely imagine that especially in these demographics and with the much more "open" dating rituals nurtured by tinder etc, phone type would be a consideration for some people, much like type of car or where one loves is to some people. Personally, I don't get it... But I would suggest this phenomenon does actually exist and here in Aus at least, would not exist in the reverse.
  • The status symbol angle is hilarious.
  • Lmao what did I just read??
  • I don't think that I have ever asked someone, or even noticed, what kind of phone they use because, quite frankly, I really do not care.
  • The Verge and their Why'd You Push That Button? Podcast basically had the same data. 😂 Just because you don't like it or think it's batshit crazy, doesn't make it fake.
  • Oh no. I totally believe there are folks that feel this way. I just wish they wore signage, so no time would be wasted on them and I'm not just referring to dating.
  • The New York Fish Wrapper? I think I stopped looking at the pictures in that when I was about 10, except when I was on the subway with nothing to read and someone had forgotten to throw one in can with the rest of the trash.
  • It's funny because there are true stereotypes for a gay man's phone choice. If a gay guy has an iPhone, (which is almost all of them) it is safe to assume he is not the rugged easy-going type I am attracted to, those guys get Androids cuz they simply don't care. If he has an iPhone, he is probably a picky fashionista that is addicted to Instagram and Snapchat. Next. The gay iPhone users REALLY do give me shade for using Android and that's just fine because I don't want to date them anyways.
  • According to the New York Post, as an Android user, iPhone users are less likely to date me? Well as Android users
  • As an Android user, 'm not bothered that an iPhone user won't date me that's according to the New York Post but then I don't take these sort of articles seriously any how.
  • If you want to lose faith in humanity do a twitter search for "green bubbles" or "green bubble"
  • This is funny to me because I always roll my eyes a bit when I see someone is an iphone user.
  • Knowing the type of phone someone has does provide something of importance, for me at least. I have a One Plus 7 Pro so if someone (and to date, no one) I meet knows what it is, or a Xiaomi or Huawei or Razor........ or even what tech is in the iPhone notch, then right there we've got something to talk about for at least a few hours. Because you don't come across people like this, techies/geeks/nerds, often and when you do, that's what makes a special connection....... In my opinion......... And this is the reason I haven't found my special one😓
  • Completely agree with this
  • This is cute! When I met my now-husband, he had an iPhone SE and I had an LG G3. So we beat those phone odds! 🤣
  • People who are shallow and vapid enough to allow one's mobile OS platform of choice to affect whether they're worthy of dates and whatnot to their eyes only deserve to be with the same type of people who share the same vapid outlook.
  • An angle that hasn't been considered is that some of the people rejecting Android users probably want the end to end encryption that iMessage provides without needing a third party app.
  • BINGO!
    * disclaimer: (that's all I wanted to post, but AC wouldn't let me)
  • The article is BS. My fiancee is 28 and iPhone. I'm 55 and Android. anyone that stuck on phones don't have time for life.
  • Why is Android Central even giving this any coverage?
  • Advertising clicks. The same reason ANY article is here.
  • One of my previous coworkers said he got an iPhone specifically because women on tinder would not respond to him with his green bubble. After he switched, he said his success rate increased dramatically. I'm just glad my gf hates Apple and their overpriced and proprietary garbage.
  • Yeah I'm old now because I never pay attention to the color of the to the message bubble. My wife has a Nokia 7.1 and I have 2 iPhones and on Samsung. I never care, if anything I may turn iMessage off on my business phone because iOS users like to attempt FaceTime me and I feel it's improper. I'm like wtf I'm calling you to confirm appointments not have a FaceTime conversation with someone I don't know.
  • I think there's probably something to this, some people are very shallow or have emotional issues that would make them fixate on stupid stuff like this. The people quoted in the NY post article both sound very self-centered and controlling, that's a major red flag. Who would want to date someone like that? Seems to me if someone rejects you because of your phone just consider yourself lucky that you dodged a bullet, so this is nothing to worry about
  • This sounds a lot like my warning to young guys about potential dates.
    "If she has a ton of stickers on the back of her car, beware. If she has a ton of stuffed animals in the back deck of her car, beware. If she has a ton of both, run, do not walk, very far away."
  • The original article is almost as hilarious as someone taking New York Post seriously, lol. There's no stock to this anyway except pointing out the shallowness of some iPhone users. I've already got too many girls bothering me, and it's a pretty even mix between Apple and Android users. My most consistent friend is an Apple girl, and her DAD is waiting for me to marry his daughter despite our huge age gap. The most recent one to come after me hard was an Apple user too, and the girl that climbed into my bed and told me I could do anything I wanted to her had her iPhone right next to her. When a girl asks me for her number, the last thing on my mind is what brand of phone she uses, and how aggressive they are does not seem related. I've had girls of both type grab my phone and put their number in themselves. Of the five girls I care most about, only two are iPhone users, and one of those only recently switched because I gave her one of my spare iPhones when her Alcatel failed.
  • Fake news abounds.
  • ...but The Dude abides.
  • My daughter in college, who uses a Pixel 3, said that she has been disallowed from joining group texts by iPhone users who can't abide the green bubble. I told her that saved her a lot of time dealing with shallow dumbasses.
  • Exactly! Those folks need professional help!
  • Bravo! You sir are a good dad.
  • Be proud of the green bubbles. Shows you are not just another blind follower..
  • This is so ridiculous especially because its true. Most of the people around me have iPhones and I love my Android (Pixel) devices. I have an iPad but I don't communicate on that thing, it's literally for entertainment 😂 all my communication happens on my Pixel. I don't feel any guilt when I text someone with an iPhone.. It's not my fault Apple won't let you guys change the bubble colors 😆
  • That's okay,. I wouldn't date an iPhone girl, because all iPhone people are boring and unoriginal. Same ringtones, same notification sounds, same white headphones,(the wireless ones look silly). Hard pass on Apple products.
  • LOL 😉👍
    This is funny.
    I know, emoticons plus comment are redundant, but apparently the former was too short to post.
  • You might reconsider that if you knew some of the ones I do... One is a model and runs her own business, and I used to proof her photo shoots for her. The other friend has the rare combo of being a math and science genius, while also being athletic, and being so beautiful she's scary. I'm not a guy who scares off easy, but when she gives me "that look", I can't even breathe. However, I guess she doesn't really count as an Apple girl because she's always been Android up until recently, and it was not a willing switch.
  • As an iPhone user, I couldn't care less if the bubble is green. This is manufactured outrage. My time is better spent getting outraged over things that actually matter.
  • If one does not want to be with you, over something so trivial, that person is not worth your time in the first place.
  • It just goes to show how shallow we as a people have become.
  • BTW, I don't even know what the 'green bubble' is, anyways.
  • I have no idea either, and I'm not going to research it based on the info in this thread/article.
  • Must be a slow news day. I will say that I had a buddy of mine tell me that a chick online that asked him if he could get an iPhone so she wouldn't have to have the green bibbles
  • I just wanted to say a chick I was hanging out for a while with legit told me she thinks only important people use iPhones because she works in airport and doesn't see anyone important or good looking without an iPhone. (rolls eyes). You wouldn't want to admit it but there is some truth there in the perception of phones and Apple vs Android.
  • If the phone you use is important to a girl, she's not worth bothering with. Android users are naturally more open minded
  • That's ok. I never dated iPhone users!!
  • TL;DR, Awful long article rebutting a post that wasn't worth reading in the first place.
  • Lighten up Francis. Who in their right mind would actually read this and think it was a "real" news story? One newspaper's click bait, makes for an "angry" columnist's click bait.
  • « a world where Samsung is pumping out phones even more expensive than the top-tier iPhones because of all the tech it's cramming into them«  Everything is wrong in this sentence !