Flappy Bird is an awesome game. No, really.

They say you can't beat Flappy Bird. We say they're wrong.

Flappy Bird is a ridiculously simple, mind-numbing, intelligence-sapping game that feeds off your boredom and pumps thousands of dollars into the hands of the sole developer through advertising.

Flappy Bird has become ridiculously popular in the past weeks, amassing between 10 million and 50 million total installations on Android. Flappy Bird is available on iOS. It's eventually headed to Windows Phone.

And now, we're going to show you how to win at Flappy Bird.

Some of these Flappy Bird tips and tricks will be stupidly self-explanatory. Some of them may make you laugh. Others may make you cry. (Lord knows they've made us curse a time or two.) So here goes. Here's how to beat Flappy Bird, insofar as you're able to win at a game that has no end, no purpose, and even less importance in the overall state of society.

1. How to beat Flappy Bird: Don't touch the pipes

How to beat Flappy Bird

This should be pretty self-explanatory. But if you're new to Flappy Bird, don't overthink it. You touch the screen to make the bird flap. Don't let it touch the pipes.

If you touch the pipes, you'll die. You'll lose. And then you'll have to start playing all over again. And that's no way to beat Flappy Bird.

2. How to win at Flappy Bird (and at life, perhaps): Stay off the sauce

How to beat Flappy Bird without really trying

There's a reason our nation's corps of skilled surgeons is so damn good at Flappy Bird. They've got steady hands. And probably nerves of steel. We can't do anything about the latter, but it's easy enough to keep your hand from shaking like you're about to talk to your first girl at your high school prom. (What, was that late or something?)

We recommend laying off the booze for at least 15 minutes before playing Flappy Bird. That will ensure the optimal nerve response time from your fingers to your brain, and vice-versa. You need those synapses firing on all cliched cylinders. So take one for the team and lay off the sauce.

You might also consider abstaining from any other ... intensive movements that might strain your flapping hand.

Like hammering nails. Or using a jackhammer. Anything with hammering, really. (What were you thinking?)

3. Want to beat Flappy Bird? Get comfortable!

Flappy Bird: Bigger is better

When it comes to flapping birds, bigger may well be better. We're talking about screen size, of course. Sure, you can play on a 5-inch device, and for most people, 5 inches is enough. But some need to take in more. Pixels. For that, we recommend switching over to a tablet.

Flapping with 5 inches is fine. Flapping with 7 or 8 tends to be ideal for most folks, according to a recent information survey conducted by a major Android blog. Some folks prefer 10 or 12 inches for flapping, but for many it's just too much.

4. Eliminate distractions. All of them, if possible.

Flappy Birds sans distractions

Flappy Bird requires the utmost concentration. A single distraction can cause disaster when it comes to beating Flappy Bird. So we recommend eliminating any and all distractions. If possible, lock yourself in a secluded room. (Double-locks are best.) At the very least, pop in some headphones, cover your top half with a blanket or towel, and start flapping.

In a pinch, you can do what I do — retreat under your desk.

Another consideration: If your family is distracting, consider replacing them.

5. A strange game. The only way to win at Flappy Bird is ...

 

Reader comments

How to win at Flappy Bird for Android

70 Comments

agree....its similar in the fact that you have some flappy thing that goes up and down when you tap the screen...but the similarities stop there.

both are equally as frustrating and fun though

If you want a serious answer on how to win, cover your score with a coin or something , it's a total distraction. So far my high score is 74 using this method.

you sir are a genius!! The first time I tried this by covering the score with my non-flapping thumb, I doubled my score (from 15 to 30)

When i opened the article I totally thought that was going to be the guide.

I fully expected a picture of the uninstall screen.

Me too, only had it installed for 5 mins or so. I wouldn't mind the difficulty if it were actually fun to play in any way whatsoever.

Posted via Android Central App

No, never installing it in the first place would have been a win. Uninstalling it, after having wasted precious time with it, can be considered at most a draw.

Exactly! It lasted for about a minute and a half on my phone -- UNINSTALLED. I'm so sick of these "infinite running" and "free (pay) to play" games. I don't mind paying for games as long as they're good. My rule: pay once and enjoy the game... if I have to pay for more lives or turns I'm not even downloading your game.

I'm wondering about the people in the Android rankings that scored over a billion points. They all have the same score and have obviously hacked the game or the interface with the Play Rankings system.

If it's so easy to hack then what is the point of even showing scores for other people around the world? I wish they'd either fix it or abandon it.

One technique that seems to be helping is to keep your eyes in on the bird instead of the oncoming pipes. Try it. Let your peripherals anticipate the pipes.

Posted via Android Central App

58 my best till now.
Let me give you a hint: Stay as low as possible even if you feel like you should go up. And also between pipes you should be at a lower position than next pipe's top. This is the only way you will get high scores.

144 is my high and I actually followed most of these steps. Its all about being comfortable and having rhythm. Music helps with that. Also, it takes some getting used to how high the bird rises and falls when you tap.

Posted from my Nexus 7 (2013)

It cracks me up watching Phil's hatred/addiction to this game.

Posted from my newly Kit Katted Droid Ultra

Man you need help :/

_______________________________________________
This message was brought to you by the numbers 0 and 1

Isn't this "bird" the flying fish from Mario?
The pipes, of course, are from Mario, so it wouldn't be a stretch at all.
Actually, even the ground is from Mario in certain levels if I'm not mistaken.
Obviously, this is no bird at all, and is instead a flying fish from the Mario level.

Therefore, in order to win, you must realize you are actually a flying fish, not a bird at all, and then *BOOM* you suddenly avoid every pipe and win.

But hey, don't avoid the 329th pipe; you can go inside that one (let the fish touch its opening right in the middle) and you skip to the 1000th pipe.

Well I installed the damn game and couldnt stop playing on my Droid Maxx. Got fired for goofing off at work. Now I can go home and play all day with the 10.1 incher :p

I bet over 99% of people get 0 the very first time they try.

"Ok so I just tap it?"

*taps once*

CRASH

"aw crap! You have to keep tapping!"

I tried it and deleted it, but I love how the top 5 players in the leader board all have the same score of like 9 billion. I read another reviewer who did the math and it would take like 150 years of constant playing to reach that score. What's the point of a leader board when it's so easy to cheat?

Posted via Android Central App

Ooohh, you can't let it touch the pipes! Thanks for the great tip, Android Central! Now I understand what I was doing wrong!
/sarcasm

The weirdest thing for me is that I never felt angry playing this little game. I was very susceptible when I used to play serious games, but you can't deny that it's all your fault when you loose. I got that, although my record (31) would disagree, lol.

Posted via Android Central App

Now I know why birds are always angry. People keep crashing them into pipes. They are not really angry at the pigs. They are angry at us humans. They just can't get to us humans, so they attack the pigs to take away our bacon.

I'm sure there are several Assurion reps and techs that are taking phone claims for damaged devices, wondering if it's in any way related to Flappy Bird.

Posted via Android Central App

Turn off the sound and fly low. That's how I'm doing it. Pay attention to the lower pipe and fly juuuussst above it.

Posted via Android Central App

this game is like a Asylum movie... terrible yet you keep watching.. or playing in this case. I tell ya though, the Dev could care less that we all hate/love it, he's making bank!